Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The five greatest things about Canadian television

The five greatest things about Canadian television

TV Stevie
Bubbles personifies Canadian TV for me.

TV StevieTV Stevie is sore in the saddle after horseback riding. Email TV Stevie



There was a time my life, somewhere around my mid-20s, where I was completely against nationalism in any form, and, subsequently, pretty ambivalent towards Canada.

Every country was merely a corporation, I reasoned, and rooting for one over another would be no different than cheering for the leading money winner on the PGA Tour, which is to say that it felt ridiculous to do so.

Of course, this happened while I was still an angry young man (as opposed to my current condition as a doddering old fool), and probably the angriest time of my life if you don't count the year I was going through puberty while simultaneously discovering Nine Inch Nails and working through an acne problem. Bad times.

I was in my mid-20s, single, and reading a lot of conspiracy theory content in books and on the Internet. Clearly, this isn't the best combo for achieving any semblance of sanity. All I can say is that if you're going to allow yourself to believe this material (and you've got to consider the source before you get too deep), you should also be prepared to have your mind switched to "blown" for at least a few months.

Needless to say, the government (otherwise known as The System) is the sworn enemy of the conspiracy theorist. They're ruling us and they're manipulating us, and from every toothache in your mouth to every ticket you get for speeding, you can point the finger directly at The Man. I was buying it (to a degree), and I was pretty steamed about the whole perceived manipulation, to say the least.

And, if you're pissed off at the government, you're generally also pissed off about the whole concept of countries, and subsequently resentful against your own nation for participating in this debacle of a system. So, following that questionable progression of logic, I was down on Canada.

Of course, a few months later, I ran out of steam when it came to being angry. I'm a silly person by nature, and it simply didn't feel right to be so glum about everything. Essentially, anger is born from fear, fear is produced from jelly candy, and jelly candy makes my stomach hurt, so, after some deliberation, I gave up this vendetta against The Man (though we still aren't friendly) and returned to my roots of making nonsensical quips about television, with snide remarks about the system peppered in to flavour.

And, after consideration, it occurred to me that I had no reason to be down on Canada, particularly since my own experience growing up here has been nothing but good (the lack of interest I received from Canadian girls during high school notwithstanding). Being born in Canada is like winning the spiritual/karmic lottery, since life would've probably been much trickier had I been born in the Middle East, or even in the US.

TV Stevie
TV is Canada doesn't need cash to be great.
I have to admit it: I love Canada. There's nowhere I'd rather live. Other than the weather -- which admittedly sucks it most of the time, although it still offers a somewhat appealing yin-yang balance -- Canada gets top marks across the board. This is a nation of good vibes, good land and good people. We also invented poutine!

In five years of writing this column, I don't think I've ever expressed a full appreciation for my country on its birthday. Today, with an unnecessarily long personal anecdote (sadly, one of the few ways I can express my true appreciation), I say, "Thanks, Canada."

And Happy Birthday!! In honour of your special day, I present to you my list of the five things I most love about Canadian TV...

*****

5. The near-total lack of funding

I'm certain that there are more than a few people out there who think that budget restraints are exactly what is sinking Canadian TV, but, in my opinion, that simply couldn't be further from the truth.

While it's tue that Canadian shows will never, ever, EVER compete with their American counterparts when it comes to how much they can spend on production, which clearly preclude a Canadian production from hiring seriously famous star, and may also limit a show to one elaborate set instead of four, which can certainly handcuff a narrative in a lot of ways, the fact remains that a lack of money probably does more good than harm.

This financial condition forces the Canadian TV industry into a state of heightened creativity, while also compelling it to consider the focused needs of its audience. Year after year, Canada produces a bumper crop of eminently watchable reality shows, sitcoms, dramas and even sci-fi fare. The best of these produce quality episodes on a consistent basis because, considering our population, there in a ton of talent in this country. And, for those who value the work as much as the paycheque, there's more creative freedom offered on Canadian TV than they'd ever find in the cookie cutter US TV business.

The bottom line is that anyone who truly has a story to tell will find a way to get around budgetary constraints, while a big American network can and will shackle creativity. If your show's good enough, chances are that it'll end up in the international market before long, scoring producers a payday similar to the one they might've received had they gone south.

TV Stevie
Lorne Michaels has done a good job representing Canadian humour to the world.
*****

4. Canadian humour

Hollywood has long since recognized that Canadians are incredibly good at being funny. Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Ivan Reitman and Lorne Michaels all hail from Oh Canada, and you just can't be more successful than those guys.

But Canadian humour starts in Canada. Obviously, I'm not referring to that sort of milquetoast, House of Commons laughs you might get from Royal Canadian Air Farce. I've got nothing against that type of show, but it's not really the sort of thing that makes me laugh.

What I love is when some fresh-faced Canadian gets an opportunity to really make a show. Trailer Park Boys is the perfect example of this. Mike Clattenburg was a guy who had a little experience making a local TV show in Halifax and an idea. From that was born one of the funniest shows and most unique shows in Canadian history, a program that will impact our culture for years after it was on the air. While TPB was basically a show made without any substantial amount of money, it became the very essence of Canadian humour being properly displayed on Canadian TV.

*****

3. John Dore

Granted, John Dore hasn't been "on the scene" quite as long as some of my other Canadian favourites, and he's getting his own section in this article based partly upon the fact that I've never given him an extensive mention prior to this column. Still, I think it's time that the people who read TV Stevie become aware that The John Dore Television Show is one of the funniest, most offbeat and unique shows to hit Canadian airwaves since the days of Jonovision or as far back as The Hilarious House of Frightenstein.

Filmed in a mock-documentary style that became common after This Is Spinal Tap back came out in 1984, Dore's show seems to tap into an unexplored comic territory where the star has an opportunity to mockingly address the issues in his own life over a period of 30 minutes (or 22 if you subtract commercials) while playing a pseudo-realistic version of himself. It's kind of like Curb Your Enthusiasm, only less neurotic and more Canadian. Amazingly, it might even be funnier than the (slightly) higher budget Curb, although that's probably a matter of personal opinion.

TV Stevie
John Dore provides hope for The Comedy Network.
Despite being one of Canadian Idol's original attempts to clone Ryan Seacrest, Dore bounced back and popped up all over the Canadian TV landscape, including some time on MuchMore in addition to a return engagement on Idol. Soon enough, Dore's talent as a funnyman was recognized by The Comedy Network, which made one of the best decisions in its history by debuting the first 13 episodes of John Dore on October 17, 2007.

I don't mean to pick nits with The Comedy Network, but when your primetime schedule features The Simpsons and South Park reruns every single night of the week, while also recycling Canadian content like Corner Gas, Air Farce and an endless supply of Just For Laughs, you're not really making full use of homegrown talent.

Right now, along with Keys to the VIP, Dore is the only thing distinguishing Comedy Network from any other channel that exclusively plays content it didn't make and therefore can't completely represent the broadcaster. If they can build on these shows, the cable outlet may finally be able to establish an identity as something other than a rest home for retired sitcoms. It can become a place for truly funny Canadians to blossom. Maybe.

*****

2. An increasing number of alternatives to the CBC

To be fair, the CBC is still a big part of the Canadian TV scene, if not the biggest part. This crown-owned corporation is the oldest broadcasting service in Canada, and I appreciate how it works to protect and perpetuate uniquely Canadian stories that might otherwise be lost in the shuffle or forgotten.

But the CBC sure is boring a lot of the time, isn't it? Even when it's trying really hard to be funny (as with jPod or This Hour Has 22 Minutes), our national broadcaster seems to be trying harder to impress some distant viewer in England than its viewers in Canada.

That's why it's nice to see so many other broadcasters popping up in Canada. Granted, a lot of these channels are owned by Canadian media conglomerates like Canwest or Bell Globemedia, but at least these corporate giants are giving Canadians a chance to make television without having to wait for their Green Card to come through.

Slice, Showcase, TVtropolis and the Much series of channels are just a few examples of how Canadian broadcasters have provided an array of options for Canadians who are no longer satisfied with being told exactly how it is by the CBC. There's more room for a Canadian voice on TV than ever before.

TV Stevie
The CBC logo couldn't be creepier if it tried.
That being said, it seems ridiculous that CBC no longer has the rights to the Hockey Night in Canada song. I don't even really like hockey anymore (thank for nothing, Bettman), yet it still seems exceedingly dumb that the song and the show have been separated. How evil must an evil genius be to come up with this evil plot? You'd need a real dedication to evil.

*****

1. The unexpectedly huge stable of awesome on-air hosts

There's something about hosting a show in Canada that gives previously-inexperienced hosts a chance to connect with their audience on a sincere level. While Dave Letterman or Regis feel like they're being beamed into our homes from outer space, a Canadian host on a similar kind of show often feels like they're right around the corner.

I'm referring to the ones who are just like us, of course. At this point, it feels like Cabbie is a part of the family. Darryn Jones has been working consistently and amusingly since he first started on Buzz years ago. Even Mike Bullard, who was at times irritating and at better times a little bit less irritating, still felt like he was part of the family. Even though I rarely watched his show (sorry, Mike), I still felt bad when he got cancelled. It's never pleasant when someone you feel like you know loses their job, right?.

And then you have the crème de la crème of Canadian TV, personal favourites like Jonathan Torrens, Andrew Anthony and George Stroumboulopoulos. (I won't mention any newscasters due to residual feelings related to the story at the top of this page.) Throw in Ed the Sock, Diane (from MTV), and Dini Petty (an odd personal favourite I may regret broadcasting), and you've got an unbelievable, quirky, intelligent and often hilarious stable of TV presenters that can hold my interest any time they're on the tube thanks to a charm and sincerity that is unique to these quintessentially lovable Canucks.

[Note: If Ben Mulroney is reading this, I've got a way to help you get right near the top of this list. Have your people call my people. Actually, have your people call me. My people haven't actually come into existence. Yet.]

The only thing that prevents MTV from being Canada's most repugnant station (and it still might get that title) are the hosts who approach the station's godless programming with a sense of irony. One the few things that makes the CBC great is that they had the moxie put Jonovision on the air when that style of show hadn't previously existed in this country. And Dini Petty was oddly attractive, although that has almost nothing to do with the point I've been trying to make.

Canada's TV hosts are the best in the world, and they're what make Canadian television truly unique while giving it an identity that suitable represents this country to all those out there in TV land who can access it.

Have a great Canada Day!

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